The 90s Are All That Recap, Part Two

We’re on to part two of our recap of  Nick programs that are being rebroadcast for “The 90s Are All That” on TeenNick.  Children of the 90s and I created a co-blog (click here for part one!) for the event, because we freaking love these shows, and because we’re 90s nerds. If you’ve never check out Children of the 90s’ blog, you need to: It puts me to shame with 90s nostalgia. It’s incredible.

So let’s get right to it:

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

WildARSChase: The answer is yes, because of this show. Good God, was it creepy. There was always that magic shop they went to with the guy who I later thought was Hagrid from “Harry Potter”. It was genius of Nickelodeon to make a scary show for kids. There was nothing else like it on TV.

They had that whole “Midnight Society” thing going on, too. Very cult-ish. I always wondered what the hazing ritual was to get into that group. Did you have to wear the red bucket on your head? Did you have to tell a ghost story in Spanish? Was there an orgy (Wait, that’s the plot of “Vanilla Sky”)? I think more kids should get together in the woods and tell ghost stories. Of course, saying, “I think more kids should get together in the woods” doesn’t sound good these days.

Fun fact: One of the Midnight Society members grew up to be the very attractive and very charming Joanna Garcia.

Children of the 90s: I will be the first to admit I was absolutely terrified of “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” I do, however, like a show so conversational that its very title is an opening to learn more about you and your most intimate fears and phobias. In my case, the answer to “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” was “Yes, absolutely. But especially that thing that was in the pool. That was pretty gross, and I’m probably only going to be able to sleep with a nightlight on until I’m about 22.*”

(*Age exaggerated for comedic effect. I’d say it actually was closer to 21.)

I agree the Midnight Society thing seems a bit cult-ish in retrospect, but at the time I was enthralled by the idea that these kids took scaring each other so seriously. I always liked the gesture of throwing potassium nitrate in the campfire; it added dramatic effect while introducing your story while allowing you to showcase your science-leaning nerdiness by knowing what type of chemical would produce such a fire sparking reaction.

Additional fun facts: the show’s impressive roster of guest stars included Will Friedle of Boy Meets World, Melissa Joan Hart, Tia and Tamara Mowry, Tatyana Ali, Emmanuelle Chriqui, Jay Baruchel of Knocked Up, Hayden Christensen, Gilbert Gottfried, and Ryan Gosling. Not bad draws for a relatively low-budget Canadian horror show intended for a child audience.

WildARSChase: Emmanuelle Chriqui? Sloan from Entourage, quite possibly one of the prettiest women on TV? A tip of the cap to “Are You Afraid of the Dark,” then (I’m sure it’s vice versa for Ryan Gosling, ladies.)

I agree that the show title is great because it’s an organic conversation starter. Other good scary show titles for kids: “Are you being stalked online?” “Are you aware you’re headed down a path of self-destruction?” “Do you know what teen pregnancy is, and if not, you should watch Teen Mom”

Children of the 90s: I also like “What Would You Do?” as a practical show title, though the connotations of the show name changed when ABC news hijacked it from the original Mark Summers Nickelodeon classic. I much prefer the pie slide to seeing how people in middle America respond to seeing two guys making out on a park bench.

But, I digress. I think I’m going to have to push my fear aside and watch some of these episodes again, especially considering how many current stars I can recognize in them. Somehow I imagine the show will stand the scary test of time better than say, Goosebumps books, whose cheesy quality doesn’t translate well to adult reading.

Doug

WildARSChase: How can anyone not love “Doug”?*

* We will not refer to the second generation Doug, with the different voices and all that crap. Let’s pretend that never happened.

First off, you’ve got one of the best theme songs in the world (It’s in your head right now, I bet). And that intro always ended with Porkchop and Doug finding some new way to turn the lights off.

Then you’ve got memorable characters like Roger, who was just really misunderstood, or Skeeter, who was a great best friend even if I’m sure he was doing some crazy drugs, or Bud Dink, the neighbor with all the ridiculous inventions. And the Beets? THE BEETS? If “Killer Tofu” isn’t one of the all-time greatest songs, then I don’t know what is. Of course, it took me about 10 years to realize the group was a twist on the Beatles. But whatever, I was, like 10.

And Patti Mayonnaise was a saucy little minx. She didn’t put out on the show, but I’m sure she did later in life. You can tell these things.

Children of the 90s: Agreed that we should probably put Disney’s second and clearly lesser incarnation of Doug out of our minds forever. Even the little changes irked serious fans to the extent that we could not sit through an episode. I mean, they gave Roger Klotz a sleeveless leather jacket and Patti Mayonnaise got a suspiciously bi-curious gym teacher-esque haircut. Had Disney no respect for all things sacred Doug?

The original Doug was the best. His journal-bound narrations, Skeeter’s weird noises and affinity for playing the ocarina, the mute but anthropromorphic igloo-dwelling Porkchop, Al and Moo, the Dinks, his moody sister Judie, Mr. Bone, Quailman, the HonkerBurger–Doug inhabited such a detailed and creative world, that we couldn’t help but be drawn in.

Don’t even get me started on how many Beets songs are currently on my iPod. They may or may not be on a playlist that includes the “Bangin’ on a Trash Can/Think Big” mash-up featuring Bebe and this long-lost Doug Bonus musical number “Yo Doug!” Amazing.

WildARSChase: They also made Patti tanner. Like, different race tan. Wonder if they were trying to be more cultured, which is strange, because one of the main characters was GREEN. They also added one hair to Doug’s head as part of some trademark issue.

How did we go this long in a conversation about Doug and only give a mere mention of “Quailman”? How many Halloween costumes did he inspire? How has that character not led to a full-fledged movie? How much less awesome would he have been if he wore boxers and not briefs?

Children of the 90s: I’d never really thought about the tanner part since I was not a big Disney’s Doug watcher, but you are absolutely right. Maybe they thought she should be less of a bland white Mayonnaise and more of a spicier Russian Dressing, as long as we’re into condiment analogies.

I vaguely recall reading an article once that listed Doug’s pal Skeeter as an example of a positive portrayal of African American youth in television media. I’m not sure if maybe the color on my old analog cable was a little off, but last time I checked, I’m pretty sure Skeeter was blue. If you’re going to pass that judgment based on his MC Hammer-style harem pants, beatboxing ability, dancing skills, then that’s entirely based on stereotypes.

 Stereotypes are usually based on truth, though. After all, most blue people are notoriously good beatboxers. That’s just empirical data.

WildARSChase: That just got really deep. You used the phrase “empirical data” in relation to “Doug.”

Salute Your Shorts

WildARSChase: This show only lasted two seasons? Really? It seems like I can remember a hundred episodes, from Sponge and Donkey Lips trying to gain/lose weight with the wheel barrow to Zeke the Plumber to the radio call-in contest, when Sponge had to answer “What is George Michael’s real name?”

On a related note, I didn’t get out much as a child. I really loved this show, though. All the kids were relateable, Camp Anawanna looked awesome, and although Ug always threatened to, he never made Budnick pay the price for not singing “I hope we never part.”

Another fun fact: Donkey Lips grew up to be a rapper. I know this because I found him on MySpace several years ago. Actually, there’s a great site for “Where is the cast of Salute Your Shorts Now?” All the girls grew up to be hot. Budnick still looks like Budnick. The only weird thing about the camp was Dr. Kahn, the guy you only heard on the loudspeaker. Kind of like the nanny in Muppet Babies. I always wondered what both of them looked like.

Children of the 90s: Only 2 seasons, really? I must have watched so many reruns, it seemed like much more. Stick Stickly had an affinity for spinning this show on his Nick in the Afternoon summer free-for-all block, so those of us with too much time on our hands during the summer saw quite a bit of Ug and the Gang.

I never quite understood why Ug was the only staff member on duty. I’m not sure if the girls were just supposed to fend for themselves or what, but it appeared there were no female adults present at the camp whatsoever, save for Mona the Mail Carrier. Who exactly was going to protect these girls if Zeke the Plumber showed up? Who, I ask you? Dr. Kahn? Yeah, right. I’ll believe it when I see him, which as Andy wisely pointed out, never happened.

One of my favorite parts of the show was how seamlessly and unapologetically they replaced a major character with a complete stranger. At the beginning of the second season, Michael comes down with the chicken pox and of course the only logical solution is to send him hiking in Switzerland for the summer with his parents. Couldn’t he have just come down with the chicken pox and been sent home? Was there some kind of chicken pox-detoxification center in Switzerland? We never quite got the whole story.

Michael was immediately replaced by Pinsky, because everyone knows these type of camp waiting list scenarios are so tightly managed that a camper typically shows up midsummer to replace one who unexpectedly leaves. Well, they do if the writers have already finished all of the scripts featuring the generally likable guy and he quits, forcing them to replace him with another generally likable guy with few distinguishing characteristics.

WildARSChase: I wonder if the guy who played Michael did something horrible to get kicked off the show. I mean, why else replace him? Did they worry about audience response or something? Not like they did test audiences or anything. Pinsky is kind of like when Jake came on “Hey Dude.” It was never really explained, he just arrived as the new guy we were supposed to like. Of course, Pinsky later went on to be a bully on “Boy Meets World.” But I’m sure you knew that, as you are prone to know these things.

I also wondered why only Ug watched these kids. And how much did that camp cost? Couldn’t have been much. Ug was always broke.

Children of the 90s: Oh,I loved Pinsky as the bully on Boy Meets World! I hadn’t thought of that in years. He was pretty horrible at the tough-guy accent, I think he was far more believable as a squeaky-clean camper. Then again, Blake Sennet (aka Pinsky) went on to be a member of band Rilo Kiley, so maybe he’s got more street cred than I initially gave him credit for.

I’m also curious if anyone knows whatever happened with Michael, if you’ve been holding out on some juicy 90s Salute your Shorts gossip, I implore you to please share that information for the greater good in the comments section.

A quick Google search did just blow my mind a bit–did you ever realize the kid who played Michael was in Pleasantville? I totally recognize him in that photo, but I never would have made the connection. Zipping over to his IMDB page also indicates he went on to play “Drunk Guy on Couch” in the Paris Hilton flop Bottoms Up. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

WildARSChase: The trip down Memory Lane is bound to have a few potholes.*

Want us to do more shows? We might just do that, but let us know in the comments if there’s one from the “90s Are All That” lineup in particular you want recapped! So far, we’ve done GUTS, All That, Legends of the Hidden Temple, and these three. Check us out on Twitter @wildarschase and @childrenof90s to find out what we’re up to next.
* Trademark pending.